Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work for Women (and What to Try Instead)

January 2, 2026

Written by: Dr. Theresa Jubenville-Wood, Ph.D., Registered Psychologist

Every January, I notice a familiar pattern in my therapy practice. Many women come in feeling hopeful and motivated, carrying long lists of New Year’s resolutions: new routines, ambitious goals, a vision of a “new me.”

They talk about joining a gym, subscribing to the latest Instagram self-help trend, or downloading a mindfulness app they swear they’ll use every morning at 5 a.m. This year will finally be different.

By February, however, many of those resolutions have quietly faded.

In my office, this often shows up as frustration or self-blame. I hear things like, “I don’t understand why I can’t stick to anything,” or “I already feel like I’ve failed the year.”

As a psychologist, my response is almost always the same: this isn’t a personal flaw or a lack of willpower. In fact, psychology offers a much more compassionate and practical explanation for why New Year’s resolutions so often fail for women.

Let me walk you through how I think about New Year’s resolutions, and why a different approach may actually help you move closer to what truly matters.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Feel So Motivating (and Why They Often Fail)

There’s a reason the start of a new year feels so powerful.

Research by Dai, Milkman, and Riis (2014) describes what psychologists call the Fresh Start Effect. Temporal landmarks—like the beginning of a new year, a birthday, or even the start of a week—create a psychological sense of a clean slate. These moments help us mentally separate past behaviour from who we hope to become, which increases motivation and optimism.

This explains why January can feel energizing. Many women describe feeling “reset” or “clear-headed,” as though they finally have space to make changes.

The challenge is that motivation tied to a date alone rarely sustains itself.

Life inevitably steps in—work stress, sick children, emotional fatigue, burnout—and without deeper support, that early burst of motivation fades. From a psychological perspective, this is one of the key reasons New Year’s resolutions fail.

What Psychology Research Reveals About New Year’s Resolutions

Research gives us important insight into the kinds of goals people tend to set. A large-scale Swedish study by Oscarsson and colleagues (2019) found that most New Year’s resolutions focus on physical health, weight, or eating habits.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to feel healthier. At the same time, these are areas where many women already experience significant pressure, comparison, and unrealistic expectations.

When it comes to goal effectiveness, research also shows that approach-oriented goals tend to be more successful than avoidance-based goals. 

For example: “I want to eat more vegetables” rather than “I want to stop eating junk food.”

In therapy, I often see avoidance-based goals create an internal tug-of-war. A woman may say she wants to “stop emotional eating,” but that goal doesn’t offer much guidance for what to do when stress or loneliness shows up in the evening.

Our brains tend to respond more effectively when we’re moving toward something supportive rather than away from something framed as bad or wrong.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Last for Many Women

There are several patterns I see repeatedly in my practice when New Year’s resolutions fall apart:

• Goals are vague or overly broad

• Motivation is driven by external pressure, comparison, or shame

• Emotional realities like stress, burnout, and caregiving demands aren’t considered

Let’s start with vagueness. Goal-Setting Theory (Locke & Latham, 1990) shows us that specific, measurable goals are more effective. “I want to walk for 20 minutes three times a week” gives the brain a clear target.

In contrast, “I want to be healthier” often sounds good but feels too abstract to act on.

But even clear goals can struggle if they’re rooted in the wrong why.

Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 1985) emphasizes that why a goal exists matters just as much as what the goal is. Goals grounded in intrinsic motivation, such as personal values, meaning, and emotional well-being, tend to last longer than those driven by external validation or comparison.

I often see women pursuing goals they feel they should want. A fitness goal, for example, may come from societal pressure to be thinner rather than genuine care for their body or health. When goals come from obligation rather than alignment, resistance is a very human response, even when it operates quietly beneath awareness.

The Overlooked Role of Stress and Emotional Overload

One piece often missing from goal-setting conversations is the role of stress and emotional capacity.

When women are consistently overwhelmed, experiencing emotional exhaustion, feeling stretched thin, and managing multiple roles without adequate rest or support, their nervous system naturally shifts into survival mode. In these states, motivation and consistency decline not because someone is failing, but because their system is overloaded.

I frequently hear clients say, “This felt so realistic in January, so why does it feel impossible by March?”

For example, a woman may plan to wake up early to write in her journal or meditate, only to abandon the routine after weeks of poor sleep or heightened stress. This isn’t a failure of character. It’s a nervous system responding to too much demand.

This is where self-compassion becomes essential. Life will disrupt our plans. Self-compassion allows us to acknowledge our humanity and gently return to what matters most. Harsh self-judgment tends to pull us further away from our values, not closer to them.

Intentions vs. Resolutions: A Healthier Approach for Women

To be clear, I’m not against New Year’s resolutions. But I do think they’ve earned a reputation that makes them harder to work with.

Instead, I often encourage women to set intentions.

Intentions are flexible, value-based commitments rather than rigid rules. They leave room for real life to happen. Instead of “I will meditate every morning,” an intention might be, “I want to create moments of calm during my day.”

Intentions invite reflection:

• What genuinely matters to me right now?

• How do I want to feel in my body and relationships this year?

• What kind of woman am I becoming?

When change is rooted in values rather than pressure, small and consistent actions are more likely to feel sustainable.

A Gentle Way to Start Setting Intentions

If traditional New Year’s resolutions haven’t worked for you, consider trying this approach instead:

• Take one past goal and ask: What value was I really trying to honour? (Energy, calm, confidence, connection.)

• Rewrite it as an intention.

• “I want to move my body” might become, “I want to support my energy in ways that feel realistic in this season of my life.”

• Choose one small, achievable action such as walking for five minutes, stretching between meetings, or taking the stairs.

Progress doesn’t require perfection. Missing a day, changing course, or slowing down doesn’t erase growth.

A More Compassionate Definition of Change

From my perspective, meaningful transformation doesn’t come from a “new year, new me” mindset. It comes from alignment.

When goals honour your values, emotional capacity, and real-life responsibilities, change becomes something you can live with and not something you have to fight yourself to maintain.

Growth isn’t linear. Slipping doesn’t mean you’re back at the beginning; it means you’re human.

If you find yourself repeatedly setting New Year’s resolutions and feeling discouraged, therapy can be a supportive space to explore what truly matters and how to build change that works with your life rather than against it. You don’t have to do this alone.